On birthdays and celebrating life

So it happened again, this year, same date. Yes my birthday. For the past few years, I didn't really enjoy celebrating the fact that was "getting old". And one day, as I talked to a friend about it, she said something that was so simple that it actually blew my mind... She said : "why are you not celebrating your birthday?" To which I replied with that blank statement of : "why would I celebrate the fact that I'm getting old ?" That's when she dropped this truth bomb : "Honey, it's not about celebrating you getting old, it's about celebrating the day you were born, which is a life miracle and the fact that you are still alive which is a blessing."... BOOM. So simple yet so true. Do you know the probability of your being born ? It's something like 1 in 400 trillion (all the details in this article)  - ermmm yes, FOUR HUNDRED TRILLION...Do you even know what a trillion is... well, it's big enough to make you realize that the event of you being born as you is an unlikely event; almost impossible - which by definition is what we call a miracle. So yes, I'm a miracle and so are you, and that, in itself, is enough to be celebrated at least once a year, isn't it ?

We are so brain-washed by all the media around us that promote the ever lasting youth, as if getting old was a curse, that we just end up buying it. We condition our brain thinking that getting old sucks. When in reality, life it's not even about getting old but about GROWING. And that my friend, is a huge difference. I realized that last autumn, as I watched my 3-year-old nephew playing with leaves fallen from the trees and I remember having this thought: "oh don't you ever grow old, just stay this little. Keep your pure heart, your innocence, your wonderment for every little details of life." But then I realized that that's not what life is about, is it? It's actually going through its multitude of ordeals, heart breaks, victories, success, and all these things that will challenge your pure heart, your innocence, your wonderment, BUT still finding your way back to purity, innocence and awe despite all these challenges and even have them stronger than before. That is growth, and that is beautiful.

So my wish for my nephew now, but also for myself and for you as well is : to grow old with integrity, fight for your beliefs and act with a purity of intention. To strive to keep being awed everyday: just like he looked at the leaves falling from the trees and asked why they were falling? (see video at 0:40 - and as you can see I couldn't even answer that question!). So Yes ask why,  go back to your 3-year-old self and keep on asking yourself why, why you're doing what you do, why are you waking up everyday, why is the sky blue, why are you happy, why are you sad, keep on asking everyday of your life because that is what will keep your heart alive and your soul shining; always dig deeper to answer your questions, remove your fears, your blocks, and live life fully. Don't let the world and its apparent chaos unsettle you or dime your light. Find your gift and give it away. As Pablo Picasso said: "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

So I wish for you to keep on asking why, and be amazed by falling leaves. See that look in his eyes in the video (at 0:52), that little boy transfixed by the wonder of the leaves swirling down as the wind blew through the trees. I want us to have that. I want us to have it everyday and at every birthday.

©Hanke Arkenbout

With love and gratitude,

Cx

Stop living for others, start creating for yourself

Living in a world where we're surrounded with media especially social media, we often find ourselves drowning in information overload. Whether we are wedding photographers or have a creative job - or any job actually - we tend to compare our talent and creativity with whatever we see all day long on our screens. The problem is that it can trigger some depreciating feelings about ourselves because it looks like everyone else is coming up with amazing ideas, everyone else is shooting amazing weddings, everyone else is having a better life than me ... Truth is we know that social media are a lot about showcasing a certain reality, the best version of something, or even staging reality sometimes (I loved these two things : here and here) and this can condition our subconscious in believing that our life pretty much sucks. I've been there, trust me, I know how it feels. But I also started to question this statement and quickly realized that it's all about our perception. Perception about own self, about our self-value, about our own creativity... The other day I read that quote, and it made all the difference :

"Stop hating yourself for everything you're not; start loving yourself for everything you are"

How simple yet powerful statement that is! I believe that our depreciating feelings towards our work come from not loving ourselves enough - not in a selfish way but in a benevolent way - So I started to be more patient and kind with myself. After all, why striving to be patient and kind with people if I can't even be this way with myself ?! And also, I started to list down in my head everything I've already achieved/created and that I'm really proud of. I invite you to do the same, you'll soon realize that you've achieved much more than you think and it will even boost you to push yourself further, get out of your comfort zone and be even more creative and inspired. 

That's what happened with this editorial shoot. I had this idea for a long time running in my head but it never was the right time, I wasn't ready, I didn't have a stylist and other vendors on board, blablablah... and then suddenly during Chinese New Year, it all made sense. All of these excuses didn't matter. All I wanted was to reconnect with my Chinese roots, I wanted to mix modernity and traditions and above all, I wanted to get out of my comfort zone by shooting in conditions I seldom use : indoors, dark backdrop, strong and rich colors and contrast. And the other important thing :  I wanted to create something beautiful for myself, with nothing at stake, no expectations other than exploring, experimenting and see what comes out.  I created the traditional Chinese headdress you see on the photos, by myself and can't tell you how amazing it felt to reconnect with the fun of creating stuff with my own hands, just like a child's excitement with the first Lego castle he builds.

I didn't shoot because I was paid to do so, I didn't shoot because I wanted to be published, I didn't shoot because I wanted likes or approval or praise from anyone. I shot because it meant something to me. 

And what came out was beyond what I could have wished for but most of all, it made me proud of my work and suddenly, the grass wasn't greener on other side. Sun was shining bright again inside of me and grass was pretty fresh and green on my mind's lawn!

And so, I'll just end this rabbiting with this quote from one of my favorite poets :

"Stop acting so small, you are the universe in ecstatic motion" - Rumi

Here are the photos of the shoot :

Gorgeous rings by Myrtille Beck  |  Earrings by La Chambre Blanche     | Massaï Bangles by Sylvia Toledano from Art & Facts, other bangles : vintage

Vintage furniture from La Bohême Déco

Floral arrangement by Roses by Claire  

Headdress and overall styling by myself

The Barefoot Bride

Do you want to get married barefeet ? Do it ! Just do it ! :) It's your wedding and you're allowed to do whatever you feel like. But do it only because this is you, because it is how you feel the most comfortable and beautiful. Don't do it because it is trendy or because you've seen it so many times on Pinterest, Instagram, etc. As Oscar Wilde said it so well :

"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken"

And I believe that this applies for every part of our life, not only on a wedding day. How many times have I tried to live a life to fit into what people's had in mind for me... By doing so, we only deem our own light, not allowing our true self to shine. And like I always say, life is short, so we better live it to the fullest and do things that matter to us. And it's never too late to start living the life your dream of and become the person you want to be. It took me 32 years to start carving my own path and start doing things that matter to me. I love this quote : 

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.”

- R.L Stephenson

So start today, be yourself and fulfill your life purpose of being happy, not only will it serve you but also everyone around you!  And "always remember that where you are is the result of who you were, but where you go depends entirely on who you choose to be, from this moment on". (H. Elrod)

Now enough of talking, let's take a barefoot walk together in the woods :

Shot at Domaine de Patras, Light workshop

Dress by Jenny Packham | Styled by Made in you | Flowers by Laetitia C.Fleurs D'Atelier | Calligraphy by Nice Plume Calligraphies | Make up by Charles Gillman Cosmetics | Hair by Ciara Coiffure | Film lab : Richard photo lab

Less is more | How many pictures should I have for my wedding day?

Before we dig into numbers and figures, I want to share with you about the WHYs I'm a photographer, as this probably differs from one photographer to another and might or might not fit your vision of what a photographer is. And if it doesn't fit your vision then maybe I'm not the right photographer for you. But hey that's fine, I still love you.

Recently, I've been reflecting a lot about why I am a photographer and what meaning it brings into my life and to others. Because let's face it, saying : because it makes me happy and I want to make people happy is surely true but doesn't quite fill a life purpose. One motive that drives me is Beauty; I want people to see beauty in their everyday lives, I want people to stop starring at TV news, insipid reality shows, and their race for sensationalism that make us lose hope in humanity, believe that the world is ugly and others are bad. I want people's social media feed to be flooded with images of beauty. Why is it easier for us to share bad news than beauty? I want people to see  beauty instead of articles about how a baby dolphin got killed because of selfies, or about political non-sense on immigration, or anything that keep raising hate and fear of the other, easy short-cuts, ignorance and ultimately make us indulge in navel-gazing because we think that we are better than the outside world that is so ugly. Friends, the world is VAST and it's beautiful, if you have doubts, have a look here . I'm not saying there's no bad and ugly out there, I'm just saying we don't have to focus on it to solve world's problems! Only with a positive mind and a joyful soul must we overcome the life's struggles. And what more than beauty can bring joy to the heart ?

A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness.
-John Keats

The other thing that drives me is the speed with which life passes by. Life is short. But we only notice it when it's almost gone. Being a photographer enables me to freeze a moment in time, that smile, that tear of joy, that first step, that first look, that "I do", that vow.  I want to create heirloom, memories you'll pass onto your children, when they'll be teenagers and think you're so uncool... Show them the pictures of your wedding, of your love, of your youth, of your beauty. Or even to your older self when you'll feel like life has passed too fast,  and your children are all gone from home, look at the pictures we took of them when they came into your life, the joy you felt. It's still there. Rekindle it.

Or when you'll have your first argument or first crisis in your marriage, I want you to pick up your album or your photo box and go through them again, remembering the unconditional love you promised each other to have for one another, through the good and bad. That is: even when your toddler is crying out loud when all you want is sleep, even when he forgets to clean up the dish washer, even when she's on a hormonal roller coaster, even when you feel like the fire is gone. It's not. And I want you to look at those pictures to rekindle it.

I don't have pictures of my parents' wedding as they didn't hire a photographer but I have these pictures of them and I can't tell you how amazing they make me feel. I can feel so much through these two pictures only.

Mum and Dad in Paris - Trocadéro, Springtime (cherry blossom  ♥ ) Aren't they the most stylish ?!

Mum and Dad, Normandy - Ok, my mum is definitely the coolest...

They were taken a couple of years after they arrived in France when they fled the war in Indochina. Coming into a foreign country wasn't easy, they didn't speak the language, they didn't have a job, nor place to stay at first. But I can tell by these pictures how happy they were. I can feel the love, the joy, the freedom and the hope. Can you ? I'm sure you can too even though these two persons are strangers to you. And that is the purpose of my work. Make you feel that. Make your children feel that. Make your parents feel that, whenever they will look at your wedding pictures.

Do you need 2,000 pictures to feel the emotions of your wedding day? No you don't. What you need is someone who will be able to reflect faithfully the essence of your wedding day. All the emotions you've been through during that day, captured and reflected on a tangible printed photograph : from morning preparations, butterflies in your stomach, the awe in your mum's eyes when you put on that dress, the wait in anticipation before the first look, the heartbeat walking the aisle, the shaking voice uttering the vows, the burst of joy at the "I do", the warm love of friends that came from the other side of the world that day, the soothing embrace on your first dance, the feeling of being on the first chapter of a life-long love letter. That is the mission that we have as photographers documenting a sacred moment of people's life, be it a wedding, a love session or a family session. 

Of course, I'm not saying 2 pictures of your wedding day would be enough but you don't need thousands of them (I usually deliver around 400-600 photos), just like you don't need the videographer to give you a 12hr-long footage of your wedding. Would you ever sit 12 hours - t.w.e.l.v.e - in your couch watching that film? Would you?? No you wouldn't. Let me just ask : would you rather go to the movies and watch a 1hr-movie that made you feel like an emotional roller-coaster, it made you have butterflies in your stomach, it made you giggle, laugh out loud, tear, cry out loud... or would you prefer a 4hr-movie that bored you to death and that you won't remember a single detail of, after watching it ?

Now let me hear about your love and how you want us to create memories together ! Reach out to me, I can't wait to be inspired by your story! 

"We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

And time's forever frozen still"

-Ed Sheeran

Download on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/x-itunesdlx Listen on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/stream.photograph Directed by Emil Nava Subscribe to Ed's channel: http://bit.ly/SubscribeToEdSheeran Follow Ed on...

A fun family session in Bali

Hello beauties ! As it's freezing cold in Paris nowadays, I wanted to bring a little bit of warmth and sunshine into your screen today ! :)

So sharing with you a family session I had the chance to shoot in Bali with Aslinda and her beautiful family. I met Aslinda a few years ago through work before she decided to quit and do the most beautiful and hardest jobs in the world : being a full time mum (by the way : Kudos to all the mums in the world, you are an inspiration to me!) and I straight away fell in love with her class and kindness. She's one of those girls you know, who is unaware of how gorgeous and talented she is and that makes her even more beautiful. I wanted to shoot her and her family in a very fun and relaxed way so we just planned it as a normal family Sunday, had breakfast together, played by the pool, had the goûter (french equivalent of 'after-school snack') with the Bonne Maman biscuits that I brought from France and were about to end up with a yummy dinner all together. But when Aslinda shyly told me that she recently designed her own clothing brand named Solei,  I asked to see some of the clothes and I absolutely adored the whole line she created even though she told me it was only the beginning and it was only sold in a few selected shops in Bali. I told her we NEED to shoot these ! and you MUST wear them, because I mean, look at her, isn't she gorgeous? I secretly dream of being that beautiful after 2 kids ! So to the family shoot we added a small fun fashion shoot showing her designs. Keep an eye open for Solei, I think you'll see more of it soon !

I had so much fun shooting this, combining my love for family portraits and fashion, I couldn't ask for more ! :) I feel so grateful for all the amazing and talented people I get to meet through my work. I hope to meet you too who are reading these lines right now. Let's get in touch, drop me a line HERE and tell me about your story, I'd love to hear!

Thank you Aslinda, Andrew, Paris and Helio, you made my stay in Bali such a beautiful one !

Clothing : Beige dress by Magali Pascal | Kimonos and other dresses by Solei

Accesories and jewelry by Tulola

Film shots are processed by Carmencita Film Lab.